Tiki Bars and Dives of the Keys

The Keys have more drinking establishments than boats, or so it seems. Here are some of our favorites. Above is a dive called the Brass Monkey, a smokey joint with $1.95 drinks at happy hour and entertainment at night. Actually, the entertainment gathers around the bar. I wish that I had pictures to show the pirates and wenches that gather here. In nautical lingo, a brass monkey is a brass platform hollowed out in several spots where the crew could stack cannon balls so they couldn't roll away.

The Doghouse, sometimes called the Puppy Lounge is also a smokey favorite. We don't smoke so after stopping into one of these smelly places we have to shower and dump our clothes into the laundry basket. Dogs, as well as bikers, are welcome at the Puppy Lounge. There is always a lazy bones K9 sleeping in the afternoon sun next to the front door. Pet him then step over him.

The Safari, also known as the Dead Animal Bar, is next to the Caloosa Cove marina at MM73. Watch for the concrete rhino out front. The owner, now in safari heaven, was a big game hunter and adorned the interior of his lounge with heads of all kinds from his African adventures. It's on the ocean and has a great view of the Florida Straits. Watch the video at the bottom.

This three level tiki bar is next to the seven mile bridge. The view from the top is great.

The Seven Mile Grill, also near the bridge, has garage doors, closed in this photo, that open the bar's patrons to noisy US 1. It's a piece of old Florida, having been here since 1953.

The Keys Drinkery offers a fabulous view of Florida Bay.

I found this little fellow hanging out in the parking lot. The Drinkery doesn't open until 1:30 pm and he's getting impatient. Check out the intensity in his little eyes. Click to enlarge.

The Dockside on Boot Key Harbor has been a sailor's staple since the 50s. Before it was sold to some big-money-bozos, it was where sailors who anchored nearby could receive their mail, get a hot shower, and drink themselves stupid. Mandy and I have tied up here in the past. The Bozos screwed the place up by trying to remodel it into something more Keys-ee. What could be more Keys-ee than drunken sailors? The place closed for a while because of new management mistakes.

Mandy is flirting with Humphrey Bogart inside the Caribbean Club, a dive on Key Largo. A portion of the 1948 movie "Key Largo" with Bogie and Bacall was filmed in this bar. Note that Bogie keeps a cooler of refreshment next to him, probably scotch.

The front of the Caribbean used to be lined with bikes. Now we have one bike and a row of golf carts.

XXX A walk inside of the Dead Animal Bar. XXX

Nudity (in photos)